The Sunset I Missed

Too tied up with being fuming today that I forgot that the bloody past few days were excessively rainy! That means the skies are cleared up greatly, and now, sitting here in National Library 11th floor, looking out of the windows at the wondrous skyscape before my eyes, I just want to kill myself for opting not to bring my dSLR along. Argh!

Never mind. There will be another day. Before then, view some of my previous photographic works here: Click here for the abridged gallery!

Sliv, 15 March 2008.

The Repulsiveness of Conventional Wisdom

I find that it is most repulsive that my views and stances on issues are often left pendent because I am reserved due to conventional wisdom or due to the fear of repercussions. To date, it have perhaps became a norm for many individuals to make use of blog, particularly, blogger, to make explicit statements regarding their immediate views, or attempt to sway views of the general public, just by the mere words - nothing more than that.

So, while my faith in people listening to me have almost diminished completely, I will stick by this blog, at least a post per 2 days, to keep myself abreast of my mental structure. This is where I expect positivism, and not the ignorance and the nonchalance, which quite characterise the people I talked to as of late. Nonetheless, I must say my lovely donkey is also quite another outlet for me, but since I mention lovely, I don't think I want to burden her with my constant rants about things and things, existentialist issues for instance.

Let this be a declaration, once and for all. This blog shall function as both as a social commentary paste board for me, and as an outlet for me to speak of my views regarding certain contentious or current issues. Whether I receive critique, comment or rebuttals - I couldn't care less, because from now on, in this blog, my views are my views, and they are final, as far as I am concern. I will engage views sparring, I will take rebuttals from anyone, but at the end of the day, if you disagrees with whatever views I attempted to put through, or my interpretation on certain things, just bite the dust and get the hell out of this blog. 

I know, I know, be civil. I will, whenever I feels like it. If you think I am self-centred, and spare no consideration of the thoughts of others, too bad, 'cos this blog is about the only venue I allow people into my head, peeping into my true fantasies and contemplations. That does not stamp out that my views in reality are fictional. They are still my views - views of my reality.

So be a good boy/girl, differentiate well between BLOGGER SLIV and REAL SLIV.

Sliv, 15 March 2008.

The Day that Scarcely Tastes Like Feces/Waste

It feels like shit to walk around Orchard aimlessly with a heavy MacBook Pro, looking admiringly at the couples, and their stupendous display of affection; makes me nauseates. I lug around my heavy and definitely unsettled heart, partially made stupefacient by recent boredom, which incidentally, is the shittiest feeling a human being can ever feel.

And many people just can't get that 'lonely' concept right, because unlike yours truly here, they have "friends", notion of being populated with friends, which I desperately lacks of, and what these "friends" always do to me is to cast me away like I am a speck of dirt, and worthless to them.

F those couples who publicly exhibit their pretentious declaration of affection in front of me to flaunt their sense of belonging, while I wallow in self-pity, excessively drowned in the f-ed up feeling of having to walk alone in Orchard on an unnervingly humid Saturday afternoon.

I'm telling you this because nobody in this f-ing world seems to care about whatever I say, anymore. 'Cos in this f-ed up world, or more appropriately known as the modern shit, the f-ed notion of artistic gratification and intellectual deliberation is worthless. My statements are remembered or noticed by nobody.

Never mind, I'll live with that shit. 'Cos like in the words of my principal, I'm not unique, I'm just another result-producing, resource-hogging feces that Millennia Institute can't wait to hurl out. Not entirely his words, I paraphrased, something I learnt in GP lessons.

Maybe I'm less significant, correction: Millennia Institute can't wait to flick me out of the way. I am me, deal with it, I can't possibly change every single shit that signifies and individualises me. Me! Slivester Chua!

I am not that unique, but at least I will retain those shits that makes me myself. Call me a loser who self-pity, and maybe my problems are not as major as Africans suffering under poverty, well, I guess since I am the author of this blog, I call the shots, because other than my lovely donkey anita, no one seemed to care what I think at all. So you have no say at all.

Thank you for reading my rant, I feel better now. 

Sliv, 15 March 2008.